Titan Sighting
I have photographic evidence of a Megatitan attack during a street parade in downtown Ann Arbor, Michigan yesterday. An entire album of evidence!
Pity these hapless souls who you see carried in the wake of its destructive power! I was an eyewitness, and I count myself fortunate that I lived to tell the tale! Crowds gathered on the sidewalk, amazed at its mighty roar-- an echoing bellow of fury as loud as a megaphone!
The creature defeated Mario. It defeated Wallace and Grommit. It even defeated a camel and an octopus. Nothing could stand before its might!
Who, then, saved the planet earth? The alien invaders had failed to account for one thing. On this planet, H20 falls from the very sky itself. This element was the only thing that could penetrate a carapace of pure cardboardium!
I urge you to spread news of this invasion! More photographic and video evidence will be forthcoming!
your faithful correspondent,
Matt Arnold
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