The Most Disastrous Fan-Made Dominion Cards of ALL TIME

Matt Arnold
January 30, 2011

Refreshment

Cost: 0

When you draw this card,

you may reveal it from your hand

to enjoy an ice-cold Diet CokeTM,

available now at the concession

stand for only $4.50.

Type: REACTION

Distributed at the 2009 Gencon, "Refreshment" was misunderstood to mean the owner could exchange it for a free product in real life, when in fact it was intended to motivate players to make a purchase. This got the creator, Veronica Mills of Reynoldsburg, Ohio, fired from her job at the concession stand in Exhibit Hall D.

Superb Oner

Cost: 3

+1 Card

+1 Action

Trash a card from your hand.

During your buy phase,

if the only Actions you played

this turn were Superb Oner,

+1 Dollar.

Type: ACTION

Fifty-seven-year-old Nathan Gleason, an insurance adjuster from Norwich, Kansas, lost his volunteer position working with the youth group at First Greater Wichita Church of Christ due to his invention of "Superb Oner". To this day he sincerely has no idea how the title could be misread (and no one at the church will tell him), leading some to believe one of the youth suggested the title. Mr. Gleason is also notable for being the first member of the Tea Party on record describing himself as a "teabagger".

[ unintelligible ]

Cost: unknown

[ unintelligible ]

Type: unknown

All text on this card is in the faux-scriptorium font used for Dominion logo. Only one copy exists of this hand-painted card, in the collection of Frej Riemann, who only shows it to his friends at the annual board game convention in Essen, Germany. Mr. Riemann insists that this arcane relic was made by Dominion art director Mathias Catrein, designer of the logo, in the final hours of an all-night Lynch/Cronenberg movie marathon. The illustration, reminiscent of the Voynich Manuscript, is painted either in acrylic, guache, or something biological. The bottom of the card has been torn off, with some of the instructions. Opinion is split on whether the remaining instructions read "That is not dead which can eternal lie, and with strange aeons" in German, or "+1 Action. Your left ear traitor, un trust".

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