Moving R Out
Every apartment at which R has looked expects a one-year lease. She's not even sure she'll be in Michigan that long. The deadline for her move has become more open-ended every day, despite my disapproval. I'm blogging this here because it results in two problems for me.
Reason number one is that we've ceased our relationship and are moving on, which means silence. I can't stand for there to be a difference in the two types of closeness, geographic and emotional. Just as long distance relationships* don't work for me, I don't want to live with someone when we're keeping our distance. She has told me she's keeping secrets now, and asked me to keep secrets from her. This is appropriate and the correct thing to do in this circumstance, but there is a clear line between privacy and lies. No one should have to sneak around in one's own home!** If only we didn't see each other every day, we could just commence not talking to each other for a solid eight to twelve months.
The second reason is that my love life is probably going to be dead for several months, as the word on the street places bets on whether this breakup will last.*** That's fair and appropriate; but continued cohabitation, no matter how reluctant, is prolonging that period. She's got her new guy, so it has not hurt her prospects.
I told her it's wrong to be so indeterminate about moving out. I really, really want to keep this flat. Nowhere else can improve on the price, or the location. I painted it with my own hands and custom stencils, and I don't want to have to paint it white. I'm doing things like hanging up my sink-washed laundry to dry on a clothesline in the kitchen, rearranging furnishings, setting up screens between rooms, and talking about which room I'll turn into the sculpting and green-screen studio. None of it appears to be increasing the pressure. And it's no good asking the landlady to get involved. She was R's friend to begin with.
Maybe one of you knows of someplace she can live without a lease, that would allow a chirping bird in a huge cage.****
* What constitutes long distance is different for each person, but I draw the line at distances requiring air travel.
** For some I guess it's a way of life, but it sounds more like a way of death. At least it does to me. To each his or her own.
*** Which it will, by the way.
**** I'll miss the bird.
Comments
rachelann1977 on Apr. 8, 2008 3:05 PM
I dunno, she's a difficult one. I sent her an email about a situation that sounded pretty nice to me. I don't know how the rommate would have felt about the bird, but it does no good assuming they'd say no. The problem is, she seems to be pretty adamant about not wanting a roommate, even a will-hardly-ever-be-there-cuz-they-are-too-busy-studying-or-at-the-hospital med school roommate. Remember, I am the exception to the rules as far as med students go. Most of them are home far less that I.
And this was a St. Clair Shores, first month's rent free, $450/month deal. Personally, I would have at least looked into it. The girl is stubborn when it comes to these things.
I'm sorry life is difficult right now for you because of this. If I could do more to help, you know I certainly would.
uplinktruck on Apr. 8, 2008 3:17 PM
You are in a difficult situation. I admire your trying to be a gentleman about this. At the same time, I also wonder about the wisdom of not setting some limits.
As for the wagering, who's holding the book? I would bet with you in almost anything.
rbradakis on Apr. 9, 2008 1:46 PM
I don't know the former couple as a couple, but I know enough about Matt to put my money on his side, too. (Let me know if you find the bookie.)
rbradakis on Apr. 9, 2008 1:49 PM
You are indeed being a gentleman about it. It's possible that you shouldn't be quite so gracious about the whole situation, but that's not for me to judge.
I will absolutely keep my eyes open for month-to-month rental possibilities. (Which area is best, though?)
What sort of bird?
matt-arnold on Apr. 9, 2008 10:56 PM
You are indeed being a gentleman about it. It's possible that you shouldn't be quite so gracious about the whole situation, but that's not for me to judge.
Each time I think about that, I keep in mind the perspective that if the shoe were on the other foot, she absolutely would not put me on the street. She would make sure I transitioned to land on my feet.
I will absolutely keep my eyes open for month-to-month rental possibilities. (Which area is best, though?)
Rochester/Auburn Hills and its five-mile-wide environs would be ideal, because she visits the home of her elderly friend every day to make sure she takes her medicine correctly.
What sort of bird?
A lovebird.
rbradakis on Apr. 10, 2008 1:34 PM
Yup, Matt's a good guy, all right.
Oh yes, Rochester/Auburn Hills. Eyes open.
Lovebirds are sweet.
twoofdtm on Apr. 11, 2008 1:58 AM
What is her price range?
Realize, this next statement is said as an outsider and with no other information than this post: And who's to say that even if she *isn't* here for a year that she can't find somebody to take over the remainder of her lease?
matt-arnold on Apr. 11, 2008 2:25 AM
Her price range is $500 to $600 a month, if memory serves. Possibly higher, given the area she's looking in.
Regarding your last question, it's a very good question, and one to which I don't have an answer. It makes sense to me that she should be able to find someone to take it over.
twoofdtm on Apr. 11, 2008 3:24 AM
I'll pass on this one apartment complex info then! Thanks!
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