Regaining close connection
I had a sudden realization yesterday that when I talk to my friends, I turn the topic almost exclusively to projects they're working on with me. Sometimes I use it as an excuse to talk to you, but it has become an automatic reflex that no longer serves that ulterior purpose.
I find out what's going on in your lives through your blogs. I have a lot of communication by email messages, but none by phone. I have a lot of meetings, but no one-on-one visits. Except the ones which are about urgently getting done all the planning and work on which we have fallen behind my schedule, which isn't really visiting.
As a result, there has been a deficit of close connection in the past months, which I only now identified. It was not always like this. There used to be people with whom I would discuss things like feelings most of the time. I realized yesterday how much I miss that.
I called
![[info]](http://stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
and told him about this, and we talked for a while. It was good. We hardly talked about Penguicon at all. Well, comparatively. ("Baby steps" into the elevator, Doctor Marvin.)
From now on, I'm going to schedule more times on my calendar after dinner and on weekends (5 to 5:30 I'm on my bike and I could get a headset, but it's probably an inconvenient time for others), to go through my contacts list and phone some likely people in random order until one of them picks up. Then I will see if it's a good time for them to just talk. I'm going to make a habit of asking myself, "is there anything not agenda-driven in this conversation?"
Comments
twoofdtm on Oct. 11, 2007 3:00 PM
This is awesome!
bardicwench on Oct. 11, 2007 4:41 PM
*huggles* Communication is a good thing. ;)
atropis on Oct. 11, 2007 8:29 PM
that's a good idea.
rbradakis on Oct. 12, 2007 1:28 PM
It's a very good thing to realize this is going on and take steps to correct it. Even if those are Baby Steps, Bob. Good luck with your plan.
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