The Friendly Borg
Reason #217 to read Eliezer Yudkowski's website.
"I am Eliezer of Borg. You have the option of being assimilated."
Q. Is resistance futile?
A. We are happy to help you with all forms of futile resistance. We regret that, to ensure the safety of others, non-futile resistance is not possible at this time.
Q. Why are you Friendly?
A. Selfishness is irrelevant.
Q. Do I have to dress like that?
A. Social conformity is irrelevant.
Q. Will I be destroyed if I do not surrender?
A. The Friendly Borg do not end imperative sentences with the phrase "or be destroyed." We sometimes end imperative sentences with "for your own good", but will stop immediately if it becomes annoying.
Q. Do the Borg all think alike?
A. Despite the stereotypes perpetuated by Federation propaganda and an uninformed media, Borg citizens have a wide variety of cultures. However, the Borg group consciousness acts to prevent actions that might harm non-Borg cultures.
Q. I want to be assimilated! How can I join?
A. We expect to have a Borg Cube within your planetary space in the next twenty years. You may visit the Cube, speak with a visiting Borg citizen, or send us a message requesting pickup.
Comments
trav13369 on Jun. 15, 2006 10:12 AM — OMG!
It's the Borg of Bentonville, it's.....
WAL-BORG!!!!! LOL
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