Tea Parties in Science Fiction
Due to a bizarrely over-sensitive "terrornoia", the Livonia Holiday Inn was uncomfortable with our panelists and attendees talking about war in an open area during our convention. The discussion panel about "Warfare in Science Fiction" was located in an open area across from Alison Looney's Stuffed Animal Tea Party. So Dave Klecha came up with the idea to substitute "tea party" for "war". The panelists, John Scalzi, M. Keaton, Jeff Beeler, and Barbara Trumpinski-Roberts, picked up the idea and ran with it, substituting "going to the bathroom" for "dying", "sugar" for "ammo", "serve" for "shoot", "cup" for "target" and so forth. Here's a link to a complete wave-file of the panel recorded by Tobias Buckell, which turned out to be both hilarious and seriously insightful about war in science fiction.
Scalzi: "Some books that are just plain tea porn. And tea porn is all tea all the time."
Beeler: "... published by Baen Books."
Keaton: "I, sadly, basically write tea porn, to cater to the hard core drinkers. But I need groceries, and if peddling tea is what you gotta do... and I enjoy it!"
Scalzi: "There's nothing wrong with tea porn, it's just another type of literature."
Keaton: "As long as you don't think you've invented the wheel, and accept that hello, this is a quick-chug-and-go, drop the book and you're done..."
Scalzi: "You're gonna quaff your tea, get on with your life."
Scalzi: "So much of tea serving is really automatic. You spend time thinking about serving tea you're going to get tea served to you first."
Keaton: "The stuff is scalding hot, you have no time to hesitate so it's a pure muscle memory."
Scalzi: "Right, exactly, and again it's a question of we have not conditioned people to deal with the fact that they have served tea and how do we deal with it."
Keaton: "The one thing we can comfortably say in closing is that tea drinking will always be in science fiction because if it has leaves, it will steep."
Comments
asfi on Apr. 24, 2006 6:08 PM — I'm just armchair quarterbacking, but...
...was this panel held *after* the SWAT-team LARP?
matt-arnold on Apr. 24, 2006 6:15 PM — Re: I'm just armchair quarterbacking, but...
Yeah, can you believe it?
scalzi on Apr. 24, 2006 6:18 PM — Re: I'm just armchair quarterbacking, but...
Just as clarification, the quotes you have attributed to Dave Klecha in the transcript are actually M. Keaton; Dave was not on the panel (nor was Toby Buckell). Dave, however, gets full and deeply appreciated credit for suggesting the "tea party" concept, and mad props go to Toby for recording the event for posterity.
matt-arnold on Apr. 24, 2006 7:03 PM — Re: I'm just armchair quarterbacking, but...
Thanks! I've corrected the LJ entry.
jeffreyab on Apr. 24, 2006 9:43 PM — Re: I'm just armchair quarterbacking, but...
I believe the complaint came through upon reading the program book.
Warfare is pretty straight forward while not everyone knows what a black sweater party is.
Anonymous on Apr. 24, 2006 7:27 PM
Glad you liked the recording :-)
-tobiasbuckell
minnehaha on Apr. 24, 2006 8:38 PM
Funny.
B
Anonymous on Apr. 27, 2006 8:51 PM
MATTHEW ARNOLD! Oh, will you be my 'sweetness and light'? I want a union of the flesh with you, myself and Karl Marx. JBOVLASTE!
matt-arnold on Apr. 27, 2006 10:02 PM
I've never before heard the word for "Lojban dictionary" used as some kind of exclamation, slogan or battle cry. That piques my interest.
But I am afraid a union of the flesh with Karl Marx is out the question. The beard would tickle.
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