My Website Gets 2 Kinds of E-mail
My website tends to get a lot of e-mail from Christians hoping to convert me. I'm in correspondence with another one of them now. The fellow I'm talking to currently is actually reading my site page by page. That's nice of him to do.
I often don't tell you about the e-mail exchanges because many of them are quite boring. My correspondence with a Chicago radio pastor last year was more interesting than most.
I will speak right now to those who consider it useless to "evangelize" atheism. Two things. First, when extremists try to take over our country, put religion in science classes, and ban lifestyles they don't like, your "tolerant" answers are lame and ineffective, OK? Second, and perhaps more importantly, my website also gets another kind of mail-- thank you letters. For every group of Christians who you will point out who get a great deal of enrichment from their devotional life and should not leave it, there is always at least one or two who don't fit in with Christianity, feel like they aren't getting what they need, and face enormous pressure to stay. I would know; I've been there.
Consider this site. It's not from someone who sent such a thank-you letter, but it's from a former Christian turned agnostic whose story is typical of this kind of sufferer. For years he had carpal tunnel which kept him from the one thing that gave him the most joy: playing guitar. He interpreted it as God's jealousy of his guitar, eventually sold it, was sick with misery, and felt crushing guilt every time he felt a desire to create beautiful music. He praised God for taking away his joy in a way that he later described as Stockholm Syndrome.
My arguments have solved a lot of problems for people like that, relieved a lot of self-inflicted stress and pain, armed them to defend themselves against spiritual abuse, and given them a way out of a life that didn't work for them so that they could move on and find one that does. What made the difference was interaction with people whose definition of "tolerance" is not so broad that it prevents them from talking about the elephant in the room. Each and every one of the e-mails I receive from them makes all the work worthwhile.
Comments
blzblack on Nov. 8, 2005 12:23 AM
"He interpreted it as God's jealousy of his guitar."
Why, though? Why not interpret it as: Go thou unto a physcian and get thy carpal tunnel healed?
matt-arnold on Nov. 8, 2005 12:26 AM
According to the diary he kept at the time, he went to a lot of doctors and they couldn't heal it.
blzblack on Nov. 8, 2005 12:43 AM
Maybe he couldn't afford the surgery. Anyway, there's plenty to suggest Biblically that Christians not presume to know the mind of God.
shadowriderhope on Nov. 8, 2005 4:23 AM
For what it's worth, repetitive strain injuries are not generally easily solved, even with surgery. Quite often a lifestyle change (read: stop/reduce/or at least re-learn doing what it was that had brought it on) is really the only thing that has hope of lasting healing.
I'm speaking as someone with chronic repetitive strain issues, which had once progressed to the point where they basically said "you're going to have to start looking at careers that don't involve using your arms." ;)
Luckily I was in a job where I was able to take a four-month medical leave that took me away from computers entirely (too much typing was the main reason for my problem) and I was able to heal, and then begin the process of relearning how to type with less tension. But the biggest thing for me is just to make sure I don't overdo it, which sometimes means 'budgeting' my arms, or using dictation software, or outsourcing some tasks I just can't do. (Like painting my house, alas; though I enjoy painting, more than 5 minutes and I'm in searing pain). I've also been helped immesurably by Alexander Technique, which re-teaches how to use one's body ergonomically and safely.
For me, though, the most important thing is that I can still play my sax.
And also luckily, I also never believed that I was being punished.
blzblack on Nov. 8, 2005 4:23 PM
Yeah, I was plagued with tendonitis, so I know the feeling though I kept swimming anyway (resting didn't help). I'd just heard of a few specific cases getting surgery for carpal tunnel, so I figured it must have been routine surgery. Glad to hear yours worked out with rest and retraining!
matt-arnold on (None)
matt-arnold on (None)
zifferent on Nov. 11, 2005 5:38 PM
I don't mean to make light of this poor man's situation. He obviously needed help, which you mercifully provided.
Maybe it's because I've never subscribed to the old testament, vengeful God concept,but from this one Christian's perspective, why presume that God is jealous of his guitar playing. Was he that good? It seems pretty egotistical and presumptious. Basically, if God gave him a gift, why wouldn't He want him to use it?
matt-arnold on Nov. 11, 2005 6:12 PM
You've misinterpreted his position. He was not saying god was jealous that he was a better guitar player. He was saying that his enjoyment of music was a competitor with god for his time and attention. Music was not really his god, of course. But many believers in the biblical god will accuse themselves of anything, if doing so will reconcile their situation with their belief in a perfectly loving and wise parent. In a universe where a perfectly loving and wise god exists, there are no coincidences. So, the pain was not a coincidence and it needed an explanation. So answer your own question, because I'd like to hear you explain it: if god gave him a gift, why was god not letting him use it? Does god make mistakes? Is the situation out of his sovereign control?
matt-arnold on (None)
avt-tor on Nov. 17, 2005 12:30 PM
Yes, many Christians seem to have missed the point that the New Testament is supposed to replace the rules of the Old Testament, just as the Ten Commandments are intended to be easier than the many rules that came before. Even "an eye for an eye" is intended to be a call for mercy.
Not that I'm arguing in favor of Christianity as such, I just don't think that many self-styled Christians really understand it.
Anonymous on Nov. 15, 2005 9:45 PM — Being the emotionally exhibitionist guy that I am, it's nice to see people talking about me
Hi Matt,
It's fascinating to see the link to me in your blog and the ensuing discussion. Your summary of my situation is accurate. Thank you.
For others:
Yes, the repetitive strain injury was horrendous and it took me 7-10 years to get rid of it altogether.
No, Matt didn't save me from religious belief, nor did I meet him until recently in a debate on Scalzi's Whatever blog. However, he seems like a pretty cool guy.
I didn't think that this problem with my hands was a spiritual problem until I had exhausted many medical possibilities.
No, I did not think that God was jealous of my playing abilities. I was brought up with the belief that it is important to devote my primary love towards God. I loved playing the guitar. I lost that ability. I believed that God loved me and that he had the capability to intervene if he wanted. Therefore, it was hard to avoid the assumption that something was wrong with me spiritually: given that the guitar seriously messed up my hands; given that my repetitive strain injury was targeted to my playing abilities (if viewed as caused by an external agent); given that I really, really loved playing the guitar and found it hard to put it down; given that I left guitar playing with pain in my wrists for weeks; and given that it was hard to avoid the feeling that God was punishing me even while reasoning that a loving God wouldn't punish anyone so mercilessly. In short, you would have to be there.
Yes, I can kick some serious ass on the guitar. (Just kidding. I'm alright but not quite as good as God.) (Note: this is a joke.)
Yes, looking back now, many of my beliefs appear naive and stupid. However, I was brought up in a particular set of conceptual categories and, as it is for most people, it isn't easy to modify deeply held beliefs. Everything that I believed was reasonable and made sense given my spiritualized perspective of the world at the time (i.e. given that my a priori assumptions were irrational).
Those who talk of ignoring the Old Testament and embracing the New Testament, in my opinion, haven't come to terms with the full meaning of the Bible. I was never an Old Testamentologist, always big into the New Testament. However, Jesus spoke (if there is any accuracy to the recorded words at all) from the context of the Old Testament, quoting it extensively and claiming to fulfill it. The god of the Old Testament is supposedly the same as the god of the New Testament. Besides, the New Testament has it's own share of terrifyingly ridiculous threats.
If you are interested in a more thorough answer, feel free to read my journal (http://freehand.diary-x.com/journal.cgi?entry=timeline).
Have a good day,
Freehand
freehand.diary-x.com
matt-arnold on Nov. 16, 2005 4:06 AM — Re: Being the emotionally exhibitionist guy that I am, it's nice to see people talking about me
Thanks for replying! Welcome!
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