Maternal Instinct
If number of posts is an indication of the success of an LJ post, the last one could be one of my most successful ever. I'm very happy with the discussion stirred up, and that was just within my friends list.
I'm pro-choice, and that means either choice. I also believe choices are based on things. "Choice" is not a synonym for "random whim." (I'm not saying the choice to keep, or the choice to abort, an unintended pregnancy is a random whim, it could be very thought out.) However, both men and women have their judgement impaired when it comes to reproduction. With men it tends to involve the sex drive, with women it tends to be the drive to raise a baby (although there are also countless men who long to be fathers and women who want to have sex, and some who want neither). I'm not saying either of these drives are always wrong, but I ask the same of women as I ask of men, that they excercise delayed gratification and a reasonable estimate of risk. When they don't-- when they cry "but I feeeeeeeeeel I feeeeeel I feeeeeeeel," they need to grow up. Were they to use these hormonal drives to justify a rampage of births that makes the world a much worse place; or were they to go so far as, for instance, to grab the baby they gave up for adoption and stand on a ledge on a skyscraper with it-- they are out of their frickin' minds and I will not hesitate to skewer that sacred cow of maternal instinct. I'm sorry I shocked some of you by using the phrase "hormonally-induced insanity" in my last post, but I've seen it happen. If "hyperactive maternal instinct" isn't in the DSM IV, it should be.
In romance novels the drive to "be in love"-- including having sex of course-- is often presented as the most important thing in life. But even more pervasive is how we habitually sanctify the drive to have and raise a child at any cost. For example, some of you obviously think I hate maternal instinct. But notice, did I say that? Never fear, I like your beloved munchkins. Plenty of people are perfectly well prepared for parenthood and want to fulfill their drive. Well, so long as they're thinking, more power to them if that's what makes the chemicals happy in their brain-- I'd be hypocritical if their instinct were bad and mine were good, since there's nothing else to go on.
The key is that your DNA is not your friend. It will happily make you miserable in order to perpetuate and spread itself around. Negotiate with it, grapple with it occasionally, make deals with it, satisfy it in moderation when you are ready, but don't be owned by it.
Comments
phecda on Jul. 13, 2005 7:32 PM
That's the DSM-IV (ex-wife worked for CMH).
By the way, did you take a look at the link on Margaret Sanger? In many ways, it's miracle we even get to have this sort of discussion at all.
matt-arnold on Jul. 13, 2005 7:54 PM
You're right. My standards tend to be that of a time traveler from the future, which is unfortunate sometimes. It helps to get perspective on how bad it could be and how it's in danger of moving in the wrong direction.
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