The Nonexistent Liberation Front

Matt Arnold
May 6, 2005

Having read his editorial against homosexuality as the downfall of civilization in The Rhinoceros Times of Greensboro, NC, I nominate Orson Scott Card as the first president of The Nonexistent Liberation Front. This fanciful organization would champion the right of the non-existent to be granted existence. The money quote follows:

"All the while, the P.C. elite will be shouting at dismayed parents that it is somehow evil and bigoted of them not to rejoice when their children commit themselves to a reproductive dead end.

But there is nothing irrational about parents grieving at the abduction-in-advance of their grandchildren."

"Abduction-in-advance." One has to wonder if Mr. Card, as a novelist, grieves over the non-existence of the imaginary characters in his novels as well.

I nominate pro-life campaigner Matthew O'Gorman as another candidate for President of The Nonexistent Liberation Front. Yesterday's article on This Is London website about breakthroughs in harvesting stem cells from un-fertilized eggs quotes his outrage at the procedure, even though it makes it easier to harvest stem cells without destroying a fertilized embryo or fetus. I suppose a priority of the Nonexistent Liberation Front would be billboards reading "Ovulation without conception is murder."

It will be interesting to see how many steps away from an actual person the "protect the family from attack" movement will get before they will be satisfied that no potential future person is in danger. When we have protected every speck of tissue which is sacrosanct just because it is running a biological process on human DNA, it will not be enough for the Nonexistent Liberation Front. There will still be Orson Scott Card's nebulous abstraction of "society" or "civilization" to be placed in front of tangible individuals getting on with having a life. In the ideal family-friendly world, everyone would live vicariously through their offspring; unfortunately, so would their offspring, with the outcome that no one on this planet would get to live their own life.

Comments


phecda on May. 6, 2005 2:13 PM

And their theme song will be "Every Sperm is Sacred"

Just remember -- every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten...

DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!


brendand on May. 7, 2005 1:39 AM

Thank you God! I was just gonna say, "What about sperm?" Men have wet dreams... does that mean they're murdering thousands every time they have a wet dream?!


paranthropus on May. 6, 2005 2:22 PM

Have you ever written a letter to the editor, so as to get your words in print?

"Ovulation with out conception is murder" ... that's pure gold.


matt-arnold on May. 6, 2005 2:38 PM

Thanks.
I almost never read newspapers on paper, so most of the letters to the editor I've written have been online.


lorrraine on May. 6, 2005 7:55 PM

Hi,

I think the best thing about imaginary people from their point of view is probably that they can imagine that every single one is straight. Imaginary homosexuals should have the same rights as imaginary heterosexuals darn it. And what about the children who will never be born because their could-have-been-parents committed suicide or were killed due to homophobia. Our imaginary people are important too. Oh, and given the lesbian baby boom, homosexuality is by no means a reproductive dead end. This will only improve as reproductive technology improves, but Card is still arguing with outdated information.

All said, I'm gonna focus on helping the living and let the imaginary take care of themselves.

Thanks,
Lorrraine


wolfger on May. 8, 2005 1:12 PM

I imagine Card thinks the Future Crimes Unit of the movie Minority Report is a good idea as well.

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