The Messiah Who You Didn't Hear About
Let me tell you one of the most fascinating stories I ever heard. I read about it in The Battle for God by Karen Armstrong. It's a true story from history about a seventeenth-century would-be messiah named Sabbatai Zevi. The story is worth reading for repeated surprises in the ending that give an insight into how it's possible that people would think Jesus of Nazareth, or for that matter Monty Python's "Brian that is called Brian," to be a messiah.
Some Kabbalistic mystical texts computed through the pseudoscience of numerology to predict the coming of the messiah in 1648. A tailor is said to have used these texts to persuade a 22-year-old zealous Jewish youth in England named Sabbatai Zevi, in 1648, to declare himself to be the messiah. By this time Sabbatai already had a history of coming unhinged and hurting himself in the name of asceticism. With the tailor as his right-hand-man, he began attracting followers in Smyrna and accumulated vast power over his flock as they all migrated together around Europe and the Mediterranean. Finally they arrived in Constantinople where Sabbatai intended to produce a miracle and convert the Sultan to be his follower. When Sabbatai arrived in the throne room, the Sultan gave him an ultimatum: convert to Islam or die.
Sabbatai promptly and cheerfully converted to Islam. He lived in the Sultan's palace as a highly-paid sycophant for the rest of his life.
This part of the story surprised me. Most cult leaders would happily martyr themselves because they have something to prove, not just to their followers but especially to themselves, that they Really Really Mean It.
Then his followers all left him... right? I mean, of course. Right? If you expect that, you totally misunderstand followers of messiahs. If the messiah gets crucified, or converts to Islam, or tells them to overdose on sleeping pills so that the comet Hale-Bopp will take them, or as in "The Life of Brian" tells them "fuck off," they reply "how shall we fuck off O Lord?" For them, victory is defined as whatever form failure happens to take. So, just like the apostle Paul got the idea that the crucifixion was not failure but was Jesus' whole point, the followers of Sabbatai rationalized that converting to Islam was a subtle lesson that Sabbatai was teaching them. The central tenet of Sabbatianity was pretending to be whatever religion is practiced in your local community. There still exist followers of Sabbatai Zevi in some parts of Egypt today. If asked, they will tell you this, but outwardly they practice Islam.
Comments
cosette-valjean on Jan. 10, 2005 5:08 PM — Humanity in large groups
tends to be rather gullible and not too brilliant. Lesson learned: "Don't follow the crowd. Think for yourself."
phecda on Jan. 11, 2005 9:37 PM — Re: Humanity in large groups
My own little bit of numerology for converting from individual IQ to mob IQ:
Sum IQs for all individuals in mob, where total members of mob (MOM) = n. Divide sum by n for average IQ.
Now count number of legs of MOM, and divide into average for the mob average IQ.
Note that a mob comprised of double amputees is going to cause an error. ;-)
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