Amphibiphobia
Here I am at Blasted Bill's Birthday Bonfire. I was sitting at a picnic table on the deck a few minutes ago, talking to Narf while Bill grilled the burgers and dogs. Bill pointed at the railing behind me and said, "oh look, a frog. How did it get up there?" We were on the second story. Narf said "huh. Planet, look at this." "No thanks," I said. I was already getting up, without turning around, and walking back into the house as if under an inexplicable compulsion. "Who wants to see a frog?" Bill said to the people in the house. As I entered the doors they all passed me going out to the deck. I glanced at the small creature through the window, which is something I would not have been able to do, by any amount of will, when I was a child. It was a tiny, undetailed profile through the foggy glass, but an image of huge-mouthed, glassy-eyed corpulence stabbed my imagination, making me twitch.
How strange that after all these years I should experience it again, even to this small degree. I thought my bizarre and senseless affliction was gone forever. Any intimate presence of these demons would induce paroxysms of screaming and flight that were as mindlessly violent as the clutches of a drowning victim. What use was it to be told that they're not dangerous? I knew they weren't physically harmful. The harm was visual. The experience was the harm.
It's been at least fifteen years since the sight of a photograph of a frog or toad made me shiver with discomfort and go off alone to curl up in a ball, compulsively wiping my hands on things... In college and thereafter, it ceased to affect me at all. But I guess intimate presence of them is still slightly below my normal state of pleasant enjoyment. It's eccentric, but I can live with that. Now back to the party, to see whether they sent it away.
Comments
wulfthestampede on Aug. 22, 2004 7:35 AM — lizards
im scurred of lizards....isnt it funny how u and i hate slimy reptilish creatures, and our kid brother has a crap-load of them in our parents basement?? isnt he supposed to look up to us? maybe we didnt properly noogie and swirlie and wedgie him when we were younger......
matt-arnold on Aug. 22, 2004 9:01 AM — Re: lizards
I will make that an action item and put it on my to-do list. Swirlies, check, noogies, check, wedgies, check.
twoofdtm on Aug. 22, 2004 8:51 PM
Now... I never knew you hated frogs. I guess it's a good thing that I don't find them cute. I know to clean out swamp like areas for you to.
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